all talk and no action

Things not to sing on a motorbike

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Thu, 21 Aug 2008 19:11:00 +0000

I rode home today with the song Bodies, by Drowing Pool, in my head and was happily singing "let the bodies hit the flooooooooooooooooor" inside my crash helmet. That's tempting fate. I should probably sing Staying Alive by the Bee Gees instead.

Note to car drivers: us bike riders don't have stereos and so there's all sorts of weird nonsense going on inside our helmets.

Not quite understanding how computers work

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Thu, 31 Jul 2008 17:29:00 +0000

I received an email today that I thought was cute. In it, the sender said:

"I have accidentally deleted my recycle bin from my desktop. Could you tell me how to get it back or how to get a replacement one?"

I was tempted to write back with:

"You can obtain up to five replacement recycle bins free of charge by calling Microsoft."

I didn't, of course.

For anyone arriving by search engine, the procedure is this: right-click your desktop, select Personalize, and then click 'Change desktop icons' and make sure there is a tick in the checkbox next to Recycle Bin. I've deleted the recycle bin on numerous occasions myself, by right-clicking it and selecting 'Delete' as delete in my mind translates to 'delete the trash' not 'delete the entire recycle bin'. It would be better if Microsoft renamed this option to 'Remove Recycle Bin from desktop'.

Channel 4 gives heads-up on tasty sandwich

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Wed, 30 Jul 2008 18:33:00 +0000

This week's Channel 4 documentary, Dispatches: Sandwiches Unwrapped, named the British Oakham Chicken And Pancetta Caesar Sandwich from Marks and Spencer as an offender, packing around 45 grams of fat. So while at a motorway service station today, in a brave and selfless act of journalism, I bought and ate one.

It was good. But since it's got chicken AND cheese in it, you can hardly expect it to be the epitome of health foods.

And since I grabbed the last of this type of sandwich on the shelf, I wonder whether the documentary has actually helped to promote it.

It would be interesting to see the program test its conclusion, which was that you'd be better off making your own sandwiches. I think that once I'd loaded up my bread with butter, cheese, ham, mayonnaise and everything else that seemed like a good idea at the time, it'd probably be higher in salt and fat than almost any shop-purchased version.

Beating the credit crunch

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:32:00 +0000

As I've noticed my cash running out further and further from payday each month, I figured I should do something about it. The big change, and the one that took some effort, was to take my bike training, buy a 125cc motorbike and use that to get to work instead of driving. It's been well worth the day's training, which cost £125.

£8 gets me a full tank of petrol which lasts me two weeks, and parking is free; in my car, I got through about £30/£40 a week in petrol and parking was £5 a day. The repayments on my new bike work out at about £60 a month. I can't be bothered to work it out but I figure I'm about even once you factor in the extra insurance, clothes, etc. But after I've paid the bike off, I'll be saving. I also get to work in 15 minutes because traffic jams don't apply to bikes, and it's a LOT more fun!

An easier saving was found by heading to confused.com when my car insurance renewal came in last week. My renewal fee was a touch under £400 and I found a whole load of quotes for £200. A quick call to my insurance company to cancel and they matched the quote. And they offered me breakdown cover for £35 a year, so I took that and cancelled my £100 a year AA cover.

While running searches, I also discovered that I can halve the cost of my home insurance, so that's tomorrow's telephone call.

If you haven't bothed up until now (and I know we all should but we don't sometimes) hit a price comparison site to reduce your outgoings. And get yourself a bike, motored or pedal-power.

A couple of handy blogging tools

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Mon, 28 Jul 2008 18:12:00 +0000

If your blog is on blogger.com and you run Windows Vista, get Blogger Buddy. It's a neat Sidebar gadget that lets you post to your blog quickly and easily.

If you have a Wordpress blog, you might like to try Artisteer. I've tried it out and I'm impressed by how easy is it to create good-looking templates. Apparently blogger templates are on the to-do list. Until then, I can't use it, unless I finally get around to swapping across to Wordpress, which is a project for less sunny days than this one. I'll probably just wait for the blogger functionality to arrive.

Fujitsu Siemens - brilliant

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 18:44:00 +0000

A couple of weeks ago my laptop died and I had to send it back. I've heard horror stories of laptops disappearing for months on end and finally returning after a million phone calls only to have more problems than when they were sent off. So my expectations were pretty low.

Turns out Fujitsu Siemens is different. My laptop was collected last Friday and I didn't expect to see or hear anything for at least two or three weeks, but when I got home today there it was, waiting with my neighbours -- from me to Fujitsu Siemens and back again in a week. It's had a newer graphics card fitted and there was a note in the box to let me know, and that I should download a new graphics card driver.

Interestingly, when I called UPS to arrange collection of the laptop, I was asked two questions: how much does it weigh and where is it going? After answering ("A couple of kilos. Germany."), the woman on the other end said "is it an Xbox?" Are that many still being sent back?

My dead laptop

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 18:47:00 +0000

My two-and-a-half year old Fujitsu Siemens gaming laptop has died.

Fortunately, the extended warranty hasn't, and I can get it fixed. Without wanting to jump too far ahead and tempt fate, here's what I've learnt so far:

1. Don't take it to PC World Tech Guys and say "I didn't buy it from you, but I think it's under warranty and I don't want to send it back. I'm pretty sure it's just a solder joint or cable from the graphics card that needs checking so I'll leave it here and you can have a look and call me with a quote by the end of the day". I didn't get a call and when I went in at the end of the day to collect my laptop they had diagnosed it without even looking at it. IT IS MAGIC! "Er, we've been really busy all day," they said, "but it will probably need a new screen or motherboard." Yeah, thanks for that.

2. Fujitsu Siemens' customer support is excellent. I called up, got through in seconds, said my laptop had died and I had no idea if it was under warranty and had no documentation. A quick read of the serial number and they said it was, and arranged a collection for the following day.

3. Never trust your neighbours. Not wanting to take a day off work, I asked my neighbours, who are home every day, if they could give my laptop to the courier. "No problem, we'll be here," they said. The next day I got a text message from the driver to say they were out and I needed to arrange another collection. When I got home and collected my laptop from my neigbours, they said "we just missed him by 30 minutes!" I wondered how they would know this if they were out when he called but decided not to ask.

4. Old Smokey rocks. Old Smokey is an ancient laptop from a company that went bust in 2005. This thing shouldn't even be running Vista, on its 786MB of RAM and 1.6GZ processor. But it even runs Aero, throwing dead monitor pixels, a dodgy space bar and a screaming fan into the mix. It's like Top Gear's Toyota Hilux in laptop form.

And now Old Smokey needs shutting down for a rest.

Call of Duty 5 and beyond

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 13:31:00 +0000

I love web forum comments. After it was revealed that Call of Duty 5 would return to a World War II setting, the general response was "yawn".

A forum poster at Digital Spy explained what the game developers should be doing:

COD5 - Falklands War. 80's weapons. Airstrikes and helicopters could be involved, naval ships too.

COD6 - Vietnam War but less linear levels than previous attempts.

COD7 - Set in 2020 with future (not laser guns but newer assault rifle prototypes etc) weapons and technology.

COD8 - set in 2040 and starting to look a bit more Halo-like with the weapons and vehicles.

I think the "not laser guns" bit is an important caveat.

Searchable bookmarks in Firefox 3

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Mon, 23 Jun 2008 18:13:00 +0000

I've just got around to downloading Firefox 3 and one feature that makes this a must-have browser for me is the way you can search your bookmarks from the address bar. (Apparently it's faster, too, but I can't say I've noticed a whole lot of difference.)

With Windows Vista, I've got used to being able to hit the Windows key and type 'photo' to launch Photoshop instead of clicking through the program menus, or to type a word that I know is in an email or Word document and get it to fast. This has been a massive time-saver and it's always frustrated me that I can't do the same with my bookmarks -- until Firefox 3 came along.

I also love the way that when I start to type a web address, web sites that I bookmarked years ago are revealed in the drop-down menu. Whenever I type 'hot' for Hotmail, for example, the first suggestion is a recipe for hot artichoke and spinach dip that I bookmarked ages ago and never got around to making. So now I get a daily reminder :)

By the way, I know you can search IE's Favorites straight from the Windows Vista Start Search box, which is conceivably even more convenient, but for some reason I haven't used it much. Handy as it is, I still launch a web browser and go from there.

Blogging from the Windows Vista sidebar

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 11:54:00 +0000

Just trying something out: Blog Buddy, a Windows Vista sidebar gadget that lets you write directly to your blogger space.

It's pretty basic but if it works I might get round to posting a little more often.

*fingers crossed*

Before you send that email...

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 18:34:00 +0000

I've been enjoying marketeer Seth Godin's blog for a while now and today's email checklist had me nodding my head as I read it.

While many of the checks should come naturally, 36 is a bit much to expect everyone to remember, but there were three that are worth remembering:

Could I do this note better with a phone call?

Yes, often. And it gives your RSI-suffering hands a break.

Have I included the line, "Please save the planet. Don't print this email"? (If so, please delete the line and consider a job as a forest ranger or flight attendant).

Why do people include this line in their signatures? It's never made a difference to whether I print an email or not.

Could this email be shorter?

Yes. Delete the "save the planet" line for starters.

Rez HD

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Sun, 03 Feb 2008 20:25:00 +0000

If you have an Xbox 360 you must download Rez HD. It costs 800 Microsoft points which is somewhere between 50p and £500,000 in real money but it's worth every, er, point (I think it cost about eight quid). I've been playing it for much of the weekend and while I have no idea what I'm doing it's hugely addictive. I'd stick a screenshot or two in with this post but it doesn't do the game justice. Here's what the official Xbox 360 magazine has to say about it. The last two levels of Call of Duty 4 can wait.

Books and stuff

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Mon, 28 Jan 2008 19:19:00 +0000

Just a quick update on my reading efforts. I recently finished Lois on the Loose. If you want to know how a little Yamaha 225cc dirt bike can go from Alaska to Argentina you should check it out.

I'm now a few chapters into Blood Meridian by Cormac McCarthy -- cheers, Gary, for the heads-up on that one. The storyline is excellent, although it's not the easiest read. It's being made into a movie, directed by Ridley Scott. If it's anything like the book, it'll be both captivating and extremely violent.

Once I finish Blood Meridian, I've got Ted Simon's Jupiter's Travels lined up. Which should set me up nicely for my own little bike trip I have planned for the summer -- from North Somerset down to Dorset and the south coast, along to the south-west tip of Cornwall and then up through North Devon and back into Somerset, visiting friends and family along the route. And since I have the most awful sense of direction of anyone I know, my journey is also likely to take in Cardiff, Carlisle and Cambridge.

Dub Pistols vs AC/DC

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Mon, 21 Jan 2008 20:26:00 +0000

It's AC/DP!

My new year's resolutions

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Mon, 07 Jan 2008 20:33:00 +0000

Just three for this year, and all easily achievable, I think.

1. Stop throwing food away
I waste loads of food because I buy stuff I quite like the look of, eat a bit and then leave the rest in the fridge until I throw it out a week or two later. This year I'll cook according to what's in the house and only buy food once it's all run out. There will be some weird meals ahead, no doubt, or lots of soup, but FoodieView should throw up some interesting stuff.

1b (it's a food subsection!)
Eat food that's in season. So no more strawberries in December. Partly because it seems ridiculous to eat food that's flown half-way around the world and also because it will finally give me a reason to look forward to winter (parsnips and brussel sprouts!).

2. Read books
Yes, not more books -- just some books. I've just ordered Jupiter's Travels and Lois on the Loose from amazon. They both sound pretty similar -- someone on a motorbike rides somewhere (without a camera crew and support team in 4x4s) and documents their travels, but I've always enjoyed travel writing.

3. Ride my bike more
I bought my lovely new bike to save money on car journeys and since the weather has got cold and wet it's been in the shed for a couple of months. I need to get out there and enjoy it (hence the two books mentioned above, which I'm hoping will give me the motivation to get back on two wheels).

Easily achievable stuff, I reckon, but any book recommendations would be welcome.

As 2007 wraps up...

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 20:12:00 +0000

Monthly magazine publishing means we’re already well into 2008. Our January issue went to press over a week ago and we’re now into the February issue so that, and because Gary has posted his list, means it’s time for a random round-up of things I liked this year. In no particular order and not especially comprehensive:

Music
The Dub Pistols Speakers and Tweeters album is a must-buy. It’s got Terry Hall doing Gangsters!

Rancid’s Indestructible album. I’ve come to this four years too late, but it’s brilliant. My car has been in and out of the garage and it’s too cold or wet or ride my bike, so I’ve been getting the train, and Indestructible has been on repeat for almost every journey.

Ojos De Brujo, Bari. Another album that passed me by when it was released. It’s at the opposite end of the spectrum to Rancid - flamenco plus hip-hop, though leaning a lot more towards the flamenco end of that scale. It brings a bit of summer into an English winter.

Books
Blimey, I don’t think I’ve read a single one in the entire year. I need to fix that.

TV
The recent series of Spooks was really good, as was My Name Is Earl. I’m looking forward to the next series of both now that the current ones have ended.

I was really looking forward to Long Way Down but it left me disappointed. It just felt rushed and unsatisfying. I preferred the previous series Long Way Round, though the final episode of that felt the same – the whole of Canada and the US in one episode – too quick.

Sport
Eh?

Tech and games
The Creative Zen Stone is perfect. It’s all I want from an MP3 player – small enough that I can keep it in my pocket at all times, enough memory to hold a bunch of albums to get me through the week and cheap enough that I really don’t care if I lose it.

Windows Home Server. I saw this at CES in Las Vegas a year ago and again recently at the UK launch in London. Both times I saw it I really wanted one. Tranquil PC has been kind enough to lend me one to try so I’ll soon know for sure.

Bloglines has become such a part of my daily life that putting it in this list feels a bit like saying I like water or electricity. But it’s invaluable for keeping up with web feeds, particularly because I can use it at home or work and access the same list of feeds.

Team Fortress 2 is loads of fun and quick enough to dive in and out of that you can play a few rounds in a lunchtime and then get back to work. Unlike...

World of Warcraft, which is a game I can hardly believe I loved. It’s the first of its type that I’ve played, eschewing games like Everquest in the past as the whole dungeons and dragons stuff just sounded boring and tedious. But Warcraft is fun and the learning curve is shallow enough that you can jump and get playing. It’s the only game I’ve ever shelled out a monthly subscription for – until I realised I was losing entire Sunday afternoons playing it and it really doesn’t change as you progress. So I’ve cancelled my account until I get that urge to go and kill another 200 boars in exchange for a pair of crappy felt slippers from the guy who gives me the quest and promises amazing riches. Moist Cornbread? C’mon.

Call of Duty 4 and EA’s NHL 2008 are both worth buying, too. Forza 2 turned out to be too hard for me.

Honorary mention
Wells Banana Bread beer. The review on the Charles Wells site says: “fruity roughness of winter barley and toffeeish sweetness of crystal malt.” I say: “beer and bananas, what’s not to like?”

Five-word game reviews

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 18:51:00 +0000

I've finally had a bit of time to play a few games over the last few weeks after not playing any for at least a year. Here's what I've been playing and my informative, in-depth reviews:

Crysis
Looks amazing. PC can't cope.

Call of Duty 4
Join the SAS. It's fun.

Team Fortress 2
Brilliant. My daily lunch break.

Portal
Do what? With the what?

The Portal review needs the added emoticon of a confused smiley hitting itself in the head with a hammer. It's not a game, it's some sort of maths challenge. What's next -- 3D trigonometry hilarity?

The train's a pain

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Tue, 27 Nov 2007 18:48:00 +0000

My train journey home last night was brightened by an announcer who, after his welcome and run-down of stations, continued with the usual recommendation that passengers read the safety cards in the front of their seats. He added:

"I know what they say, but do you? Let's hope we don't have to find out."

After planting the mental image of a horrendous train crash in my mind, he followed up by requesting that people don't listen to their personal stereos too loud, explaining that "if you do, you might be on the end of some train rage and you do not want to experience that".

As I slipped on my MP3 player and settled down for a seemingly inevitable train wreck or a punch in the face for playing my music too loud, I pondered that at least the run-up to that moment would have been brightened by someone who decided to take their own approach to their job instead of following the rulebook. I also wondered how long it would be before he was fired after someone complained.

Hopefully he won't be. There have been various reports about London Tube announcer Emma Clarke being sacked for her spoof announcements which included "Would passengers filling in answers on their Sudokus please accept that they are just crosswords for the unimaginative and are not in any way more impressive just because they contain numbers."

Apparently, though, she was actually fired for a misunderstanding over a quote where she said that the Tube was "dreadful". So there's hope for Mr Train Announcer yet -- as long as he doesn't speak the truth and finish his announcement by saying "And sorry that our trains are a bit crap and you don't have a seat despite paying full price for a ticket."

Seven thoughts on freelancing

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Thu, 06 Sep 2007 17:24:00 +0000

I'm just coming to the end of my first week off work while I work on a freelance project. Taking two week's holiday and using it to work wasn't the brightest idea, but I need to give this project more focus than a couple of hours at the end of each day, and I thought it'd be a welcome change from being in the office working on 20 different things at once. It's sort of like Murder, She Wrote without the murder bit (so far, at least).

Here are seven random things I've discovered about the freelance life:

1. Since there's no commute, you can get up later but it's no easier, and not having a train to catch makes it really tempting to hit the snooze button a couple more times.

2. Just because you're working from home doesn't mean you can sit around in your dressing gown. I need to be wearing shoes before I can get into the work mode, for some odd reason. Shave, too - this ain't the freakin' Stanley Cup playoffs, people.

3. Take breaks. And stop at the time you'd normally stop work. I keep finding myself sitting back down to continue working in the evenings and it just means you're more tired the next day.

4. Search in Windows Vista is ace. I have about 30 interviews totalling over 100,000 words to work through, and being able to type a word into the top of a folder window and instantly see every Word document that contains that word is saving me a tonne of time.

5. Using a laptop on a dining table isn't ideal. It's fine for the odd hour or so but after a full day you really begin to appreciate the importance of a good chair, desk and raised monitor.

6. Skype is brilliant. It's really clear and if you've got a headset and mic you won't get a cricked neck while talking and typing as you would with a normal phone.

7. Daytime TV is rubbish. But SomaFM is fantastic.

Seconds out: Team Fortress, round two

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Thu, 30 Aug 2007 18:24:00 +0000

I don’t get hugely excited about upcoming games, because I don’t play a lot of them and when I do they seem pretty similar to other ones I’ve played, only they look a bit better. So lately my gaming time is spent playing World of Warcraft – hardly the most exciting game out there but oddly familiar and comforting, much like gardening is to some people, I’d imagine.

But I am looking forward to Team Fortress 2. I loved the first version and spent way too many evenings running around the maps dodging rockets and sniper bullets. Team Fortress 2 looks to be more of the same, but if the trailers are anything to go by, it’ll be a lot more fun – the cartoony graphics and soundtrack give it a real comedy air, moving away from the more serious YOU ARE A REAL SOLDIER approach of other games of this genre (whatever the genre is called).

I really hope the soundtrack from the trailers makes it into the game. TF2 comes out on 9 October and there are a couple of trailers at the official site. It’s the first game I’ll be pre-ordering since Half-Life 2.

Back to the old template

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 19:18:00 +0000

OK, so it looks like my site has just gone back in time, but at least this template works and it saves me having to look for a new one and edit it to get it the way I want it. In the meantime, I've put all annual subscription fees on hold as compensation.

New minimalist site design

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Thu, 23 Aug 2007 09:09:00 +0000

So this is the disadvantage of relying on a stylesheet that's externally hosted -- the link to the stylesheet changes and I lose my design. Still, maybe it's an opportunity to go hunt for a new one. Once this painful deadline is out of the way, that is.

Friends disunited

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Tue, 14 Aug 2007 18:29:00 +0000

I was never a huge fan of Friends Reunited as I’ve always been of the opinion that if there was an old school friend that I wanted to keep in touch with I either (a) kept in touch with them or (b) had a good reason not to. But as time has gone on, I’ve realised that there’s an option (c). That’s people I’d quite like to hear from but through various work, address, email and phone number changes I’d somehow lost touch with. It’s Facebook that’s reminded me of that – it’s nice to get the odd update from people I don’t often talk to, and to be able to exchange messages and keep some sort of a friendship going, however tenuous.

And that’s what’s caused me to dislike Friends Reunited even more. It makes it blindingly obvious that it’s about making money from membership fees rather than connecting people – you can’t add a Hotmail address or even mention the word Facebook in your profile. Those words are banned, and automatically deleted from your profile. So when I added “I’m on facebook if you want to get in touch”, Friends Reunited kindly changed it to “I’m on if you want to get in touch.”

It’s ridiculous and similar to a pub landlord banning customers from exchanging phone numbers, telling them that they can only talk to each other again if they come back to the pub and buy a drink. The customers, of course, will promise to return, and instead swap phone numbers in the car park before telling all their friends to avoid the place and go somewhere more welcoming. And similarly, Friends Reunited users resort to not-so-subtle ways to share their contact details. “Mail me at my name at the hot place” or, as I’ve now added, “I’m on the book of faces”.

It’s not hard to find a way around these stupid filtering systems and it can only annoy people who might pay for other services, or at least click a few banner ads. Maybe now I’ll get kicked off Friends Reunited for breaking their terms of service, or have my profile manually edited to remove the reference to Facebook, but you know what? That’s a pub I don’t want to drink in any more.

We're not going to run out of oil after all

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Thu, 02 Aug 2007 11:48:00 +0000

Well, that's a relief. According to Technology Review, a biotech firm reckons it will be "coaxing bacteria into producing hydrocarbons that could be processed into fuels like those made from petroleum" within three to five years.

Right, I'm off to buy a Humvee.

[via Metafilter]

On selling capybara saddles...

noreply@blogger.com (paul) — Thu, 19 Jul 2007 17:46:00 +0000

This made me laugh. At our company we have an intranet where people can post for-sale messages. The following message appeared there a couple of days ago:

horse owners...
I have a pair of brand new 'Barnes buckles' for sale that don't fit my stirrups (I have unusual icelandic stirrups). They are a buckle that you clip on between the iron and the leather that can withstand 1400kg pressure whilst riding (that should be plenty), then when/if you come a cropper, the angle that occurs when falling backwards/forwards automatically unclips the stirrup rendering you safe in a splattered heap on the floor as opposed to being dragged along by your beast. These are a very good safety measure for any rider even when teamed up with the usual safety hook on most saddles as it does not always guarantee you will come free in the event of a fall. I paid £38, yours for £20, all with packaging etc.

Someone from one of the editorial teams couldn't resist submitting an homage:

Capybara owners...
Self-righting XL (62-65 inches) surcingle. Suit child or jockey. Perfect condition, and rated at 3.8 kilonewtons, but incompatible with my unusual Patagonian martingales. £520 ono. Also, Barnes-Wallis kneepads (age 12-15). Will soon have fallers bouncing back. £5.

The ads are checked before going online, and the people who run our intranet decided a quick check was in order before posting the ad:

Hi,

I'm just putting some ads live on the intranet and noticed yours for Capybara owners. I have to admit that I don't understand what your ad means - just looked up Capybara and saw some pig like animals on there! Can you enlighten me!

So to make it clear, the poster sent the following explanation:

Hi,

I'm surprised you don't know that capybaras are the world's largest rodents. Standing at up to 4ft 6in (depending on breed), they are to all intents and purposes ten-stone guinea-pigs...

They have a walking/trotting gait somewhat like a horse, but being web-footed, are equally at home swimming...

Only adult capybaras are suitable for riding, and even then only by young children or tiny midgets. Here's an example of a girl who is far too big trying to get on a less than half-grown capy, which can cause injury...

Baby and juvenile capybaras are not suitable for riding at all. They can only be harnessed as 'coachcapys' and used to pull loads like skateboards and very small milk floats...

Never try to ride an unbroken 'mustang' capybara. They can give you a substantial butt in the groin. If this has whetted your appetite for capybaras, there is quite a friendly one in Bristol Zoo.

"But granted their latest reply," says the poster, "I'm still not sure the penny has dropped.":

"So you're selling a saddle for one - is riding them legal?"