all talk and no action
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Five top driving tips
I've noticed on my journeys to and from work that there are a few new driving customs that don't seem to have made it into the AA's driving handbook. So to help acquaint you with these new techniques I've put together the all talk and no action five-point guide to sensible motoring.
1. If the road narrows, do not slow down or pull onto the side of the road, especially if you are driving a 4x4. That would be a sign of weakness. Instead, fix your stare ahead and keep driving as oncoming traffic veers quickly into the verge. There's no need to wave to thank anyone for pulling over, either: that would mean taking the mobile phone from your ear.
2. When the traffic lights turn green, take your time to put your car into gear and drive through, ideally tapping your brakes a couple of times to make sure that the drivers behind you are awake. Try to ensure that there is no time for any other cars to get through the lights, thus ensuring you a few minutes' relaxing view of open road in your rear view mirror.
3. When traffic is stationary and the vehicle behind you is blocking a box junction, on no account should you move forward to give it space to clear the junction. Always leave at least a car length of clear space in front of you in case an engine falls from a passing jet.
4. While you're sitting at traffic lights or at a road junction, keep your foot on the brake pedal, especially if it's night time. Far from dazzling the driver behind, this merely provides a comforting glow for them to focus on.
5. When you leave a 30mph limit keep your speed at 30 for the next five miles just in case the 60mph sign was a fake put up by modern-day Cornish wreckers.
1. If the road narrows, do not slow down or pull onto the side of the road, especially if you are driving a 4x4. That would be a sign of weakness. Instead, fix your stare ahead and keep driving as oncoming traffic veers quickly into the verge. There's no need to wave to thank anyone for pulling over, either: that would mean taking the mobile phone from your ear.
2. When the traffic lights turn green, take your time to put your car into gear and drive through, ideally tapping your brakes a couple of times to make sure that the drivers behind you are awake. Try to ensure that there is no time for any other cars to get through the lights, thus ensuring you a few minutes' relaxing view of open road in your rear view mirror.
3. When traffic is stationary and the vehicle behind you is blocking a box junction, on no account should you move forward to give it space to clear the junction. Always leave at least a car length of clear space in front of you in case an engine falls from a passing jet.
4. While you're sitting at traffic lights or at a road junction, keep your foot on the brake pedal, especially if it's night time. Far from dazzling the driver behind, this merely provides a comforting glow for them to focus on.
5. When you leave a 30mph limit keep your speed at 30 for the next five miles just in case the 60mph sign was a fake put up by modern-day Cornish wreckers.
posted by paul, 1:48 PM
3 Comments:
You missed:
"When sitting at traffic lights, when the light turns green put your car into reverse gear and jerk backwards. The man behind you will pretend to be annoyed, but really he finds it very funny."
Happened to me today...
"When sitting at traffic lights, when the light turns green put your car into reverse gear and jerk backwards. The man behind you will pretend to be annoyed, but really he finds it very funny."
Happened to me today...
And:
If you look in your rear view mirror and you see a queue of cars behind you, congratulations! You have reached the optimum traveling speed for the conditions, and everyone else is following your guidance. But don't use your mirror too much because the reflective surface on mirrors wears out quickly when you look at it and it is impossible to replace.
If you look in your rear view mirror and you see a queue of cars behind you, congratulations! You have reached the optimum traveling speed for the conditions, and everyone else is following your guidance. But don't use your mirror too much because the reflective surface on mirrors wears out quickly when you look at it and it is impossible to replace.
It'd be funny if it weren't true.
